One fine morning, I woke up and mindlessly peeking into your bedroom, expecting to catch you yawning while doing your morning stretch, with that messy hair and sleepy gaze, but then I remember that you are not here anymore.

Your bedroom is freezing because of the windows you left open. Despite that, I let myself in. The wood floor makes a mournful creaking noise with every step. I close the windows, then sit carefully in your bed. The sheets felt cold. The pillowcase looks dusty, even though I change it recently.

I wrapped my shivering body with one of my favorite clothes now, which was your big sweater with a LONDON typography on it. It feels comfy and smooth on my skin, but then again nothing can replace the warmth of your embrace.

It’s funny, though. Since you’re gone, I’ve been wearing your sweater all the time. When I sleep, when I work, when I go out. Sometimes my colleagues ask me if the sweater is my boyfriend’s, but I just smile silently and shook my head. What should I tell them? They’ll probably find me pathetic if they learn the truth.

I know you’re gone, and I tried so hard to accept that, but I can’t help to wish for you to come back and be here with me. Then, just like our calm ordinary days, I’ll put my head on your lap, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. You will simply be there, listening to my nonsense while caressing my hair with that soothing touch.

Oh, how I miss those days.

Now that you’re gone, I always pray for you to be fine and in peace, wherever you are. And let me tell you words I never really care to say when you were here…

I love you, my dear first love; my one and only; my hero;

my Dad.


Inspired by My Favourite Clothes (RINI) and Come Back…Be Here(Taylor Swift)